A girl in love

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 05:25:28 GMT

My friend and I's youngest children together...

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 04:13:21 GMT

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?px=1499346&pg=personal&fr_id=2180

Please click the above link, and if you can, donate to help fight Breast Cancer. Any little bit will help, even 5.00...

No, the above story is about me, I am lucky enough to have a healthy mother, but I can not imagine my life with out her, and I know we can beat this disease.

I leave tomorrow for Marco Island with the babies.. I think it will be good for us to all get some relax time. Esp Jeff because he is about to have his really busy season at work.

I will be reachable my cell phone, and will post pics when I come home!

Have a safe and healthy weekend!

thisw is sad

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 18:50:08 GMT

You've Experienced 80% of Life

You have all of the life experience that most adults will ever get.

And unless you're already in your 40s, you're probably wise beyond your years.

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?

Camera Phone Pics

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 12:47:35 GMT

My Monday was suppose to consist of cleaning and laundry followed by work and celebrating a friends birthday.

But what happened was....

Yesterday I got a phone call from David-Michael's school. He had not been feeling well over the weekend and while we thought he was a little better after the last three days, we were wrong, and so off I went to pick him up.

He seemed sick still.. but he progressively became worse... to the point that he was ASKING to go to the Dr. That behavior, combined with his skin color, his having small amounts of blood in his throw-up, fevers, and a intense stomach pain, we headed to the ER.

Amber was here to stay with the girls, so Jeff came over as soon as he could get out of work. Thank god because not only was the place crowded.. there were some real hill-billy type bastards (this assessment from me, a self proclaimed redneck). If you ever think you have seen it all.. just spend some time in an ER.

We waited for four hours and were seen only after his fever and stomach pains increased.

After sitting in those god awful chairs, the boy was glad to be laying down.

It was determined that he was really dehydrated and much to his dismay had to get an IV.

Thankfully Daddy was there, b/c he did not want mommy anywhere near by when he was finally ready to pee in a cup!

They decided he had a severe viral flu and because he was dehydrated he was unable to keep anything down and his fevers were persistent. He needed to get hydrated to stay hydrated. Plus they wanted to rule out appendicitis. We were home around 1230 and he finally fell asleep by 1.

He just woke up as I was typing this. He is still really sick so I am going to post this and go baby my boy.

Feels Just Like It Should.. Must be Some Kind of Miracle

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 14:23:53 GMT

Jeff called me at work last night to tell me my laptop had crashed. I know it happens all the time but I foolishly had several journal entries saved that I had not printed or saved on the zip as I had intended to and so all those thoughts and memories are lost.

Sleep escaped me last night, I could not sleep to save my life. I was at work until 12 and came home to Jeff being awake. We began to watch BB and he dozed off. My mind would not afford me the same.

My mind was wandering from this town to the kids to Jeff to leaving.

I know what I have here. I know how lucky I am. I have a great husband that I am madly in love with. We will be celebrating six years of marriage in just a few days and there is no one I would rather lay down next to every night. Last night while he was resting his head on my chest I had one of those memorable moments that become trapped in your soul. I will remember what I felt like at that moment for the rest of my life. The only thing better than knowing you are loved more than anything is loving just has much.

One of the moments I had in my journal (that is no longer) was when we were at a friends in DC her husband had purchased a two seater porche in his self proclaimed mid life crisis. I remember looking up at Jeff and thinking of how he wants a truck.. and a boat... and how he was perfect for me. He looked over at me then, as if he knew, even as he stood with his highschool best friend, his look was one of togetherness. He mouthed the word "hi" to me.. and I mouthed it back. He does that, has always done that, said hi in the middle of whatever chaos surrounding us, his way of making it just us for that moment. I can not wait to climb into that truck with him.

I was cleaning out a drawer and I found a picture of Rielly when we first moved into the house. Her sweet chubby face just begining to shed the baby look and become a little girl. I looked at her as she walked into school this morning and realized how fast she grew up... just as fast as her sister. MiKaela grows leaps and bounds. We are interested in some o f the same music which is both nice and disturbing. My little girl is becoming a young woman before my eyes and no matter what I do, I can not stop it. As a mother, I would pause time if I could, because I want them to be mine forever.

David-Michael was not feeling well this weekend, which made him a little more needy than normal and I loved it. I love it when he wants to cuddle with me, he was such a cuddler when he was a baby and now he often wipes my kisses off his forhead. This weekend he let me kiss on him and scratch his back and rub his belly. We pulled out his baby pictures so he could compare them with the pictures of his new little sister (Dave and his wife gave him a little sister this spring). They have a lot of the same features, which makes sense, and it reminds me just how fast the time goes. My baby boy turns ten this year. How can it be?

Right now, the life I have is not just good, its great. I have a wonderful family and great friends and even though I could bitch for hours about this town, I love it. I love every last thing about it. I think it has take so long for Jeff to find something "right" because I had to KNOW how much I loved it here. I had to KNOW that what is right now.. is how it should be. I have made mistakes that I can not fix, I have loved and lost, I have loved and gained. I have friends that I will have for a life time. Some are still here and I will see them every time I drive to Miami, others have moved on. I have grown into a woman in this city. Into a great wife and mother. I hope I am becoming a great friend to those that have given me the same.

Sometimes I hope something will open up around here so we can stay. I have to remind myself if that is what is meant to be, it will be.

I also know that if we do go to Pa, in this current situation, not only will there be growth from my ability to go back to school as well as Jeff's higher responsibilities in his field.. I will be able to be close to my mom and my brother and sisters. I will be near my niece. I have wonderful friends there as well. Each place holds its own treasures and issues. I have faith that what should be, will be. In the mean time I am going to love those that are here as hard as I can. I will appriciate my time here, no matter how short or how long, and be grateful for having such a wonderful now.

Please forgive the scatteredness of this post, I am running on four hours sleep, which is not good for me. I need ten, at least.

I survived 29

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 02:14:04 GMT

My never ending birthday celebrations started Wednesday. Jeff the kids and I wen to Cabana Club for the afternoon/evening. The heat in Jacksonville (well the east coast as a whole) has been beyond ridiculous lately and it felt amazing to lounge by the pool and play in the beach. As Jeff and I were walking down to the beach he made a comment about how much he would miss the beach. It was very calm that day.. the waves seem to slap at the sand instead of the normal fierce crashing. The water is so warm this time of year. We spent the majority of the time in and next to the pool. For dinner we sat out on the patio.. it was ACUE crab leg night (which was why I was brought there, my very favorite thing ever!) Jeff ate a gigantic steak and they gave me a slice of CHOCOLATE birthday cake that was to die for! It was to be the only birthday candle this year, which at 29 is probably the safest bet.

There is nothing like eating while sitting near the ocean.

Thursday Jeff spent the day fishing (caught a shark, blahblah). Then he came home and we went out to the good ol red lobster. I have been going there since I was 15 for my birthday. Now its like a joke almost, the place has some good fried food! And frankly the white trash part of me loves the whole mess of it. It was quite lovely. We then went to harass my Amber at Gator's for dessert.

At midnight Jeff presented me with a huge basket full of all sorts of goodies, including the first season of weeds on DVD, a Rachel Ray cook book (you know, to pick out recipes for him or mandy h to make me!) There were new champagne glasses, champagne, wine, bath stuffs, a worry ring..so many goodies! I also received a couple really cute things to put around the house from Miss Carolyn, and Jason and Nicole fed into my artful side.. my inlaws sent me a good chunk of change to play with as well.

Friday morning we woke and went to Cracker Barrel so I could have some biscuits and gravy. (remember the white trash side?) Then MiKaela and I hit up the mall to buy her some new shoes from school and for me to buy some last minute stuff to wear out that night. Jeff told me not to plan the afternoon, so when he picked us up from the mall he dropped me off at the nail salon and I had my nails done and a heavenly pedicure. Then I went to pick up Amber and we came back and got ready to head out to Bonefish for dinner. A bunch of my friends came for dinner (thank you all) and we hung out there until about 11 while Amber came back to the house to watch the kids so Jeff could go out with me. Headed up to Marks for a bit, dancing and playing around.. even got Jeff on the dance floor for a while. Drank way too much redbull. Ended up home about 230, spent a lot of time gabbing on the back porch. It was a perfect birthday except I didn't see my family up in Pa, but we are going to meet up in NC for the weekend in two weeks to celebrate my birthday and Cristiana's birthday together. I am excited for that!!!

Tomorrow Amber and I are taking the boy to his orientation and then we both work tomorrow night and Jeff is going to take all three kids to get their school supplies. (seems last minute but I will not know what DM needs until tomorrow afternoon. Then Monday.. its back to school time!!!

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 15:13:41 GMT

Holy shit.

I am 29.

Is Elvis really dead?

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 19:45:16 GMT

A three minute conversation with someone I really like but rarely see just helped me see things a bit differently. Strange how a few moments can provide a different point of view.

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 22:12:16 GMT

The whole family
Left To Right
Front row:David Michael Taegan and Sariah
Second row: Cristiana, Michelle, MiKaela, Rielly, Laura
Back row: Christine, Shawn holding Hannah, Jennifer, Mandy, Jeff, David, Barbara holding Brianna and Brian

I wish you'd come over and drink my best bottle of wine

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 19:43:14 GMT

x posted on Myspace

July 12, 2006

Ever come across someone you have not seen in a while, and they ask you about someone else you have not seen in a while.. Someone you were once joined at the hip with, and you suddenly realize you haven’t thought about said person in god knows how long.. as a matter of fact it has been so long since you thought of that person, when asked about them, you automatically thought of a completely different person with the same name, but realized it couldn’t be them they were referring to because they don’t KNOW them.. and had to ask yourself WHO? Only to remember the person you forgot about in the first place?

That then got me to thinking, why is it that this person is no longer in my world. I realize sometimes people can not handle me so they pull out (smart cookies!!) and others are people who brave my world and I push away for personal reasons. Why did I not fight for this person or that relationship? Was it because it hurt too much to hold on, because letting go would hurt less? Or did letting go hurt so much I blocked that?

What about those that you just drifted away from? Those you care so deeply about you do miss them, but life took you down different roads. Was the relationship not worth it if you did not chose to hold on to it?

The rain keeps the flowers from dying

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 14:14:03 GMT

I am often reminded how fast life can change. How simple words can take you from up to flat on the ground. How the tone of one's voice can shake up reality as it is known and flip my world over.

My last night at work was memorable. So many people I have come to care for so very much came out and celebrated with me and that meant the world to me. I won a fifty dollar bar tab.. so Kristin and I made sure to drink as much of my new favorite wine as possible. (what kind was that again K?)

Thanks to Amber watching the house and the puppy gang...

I spent three glorious days in paradise. Spent hours walking around a huge convention center with hundreds of venders pushing their food and drink on me. It was my version of heaven. I ate everything from soft shell crab to chocolate dipped strawberries and a snow cone. Free beer flowed, Mikes was there handing out samples of their margarita mix, Mark Davidson was there.

From there I stayed in an ocean view condo on palm beach. I was able to lay in paradise and play with my family. I was able to see my precious friend and have dinner with her. I was able to watch the sun set from the restaurant we were dining in. The kids played hard and had a great time. The grandparents spoiled them and us. It was fabulous.

The drive home was long and exhaustion combined with anger turned into fury and words became daggers. I woke up in paradise and fell asleep in my own tears. I was mad as hell and frustrated that I could be hurt by those words. My they are powerful. Do I give them the power? Or is loving someone so purely allowing that to be something that may occur? I fully comprehend the words were spoken with out looking for the impact they made. I have reminded myself of that time and time again.. combining those with the first few moments standing in my driveway caused me to have a cry fest. Ugly crying.

I woke up this morning and last night poured over my head. I have no desire to get out of bed and face the world. I wish I could of changed so many things but I know everything happens for a reason.

Today it is hard to trust in that.

reality

Wed, 24 May 2006 13:37:36 GMT

Hi friends and family,

As many of you know, I became a big sister recently to 4 beautiful girls. This is a letter my mom wrote the church she belongs to, I am not asking for financial help or donations, tho if you are in a place that you could do either that would help greatly.... you can either go thru me or contact my mom.

I do, however, just want to raise awareness.. I know we all have our charities, and I hope we keep them in mind this summer.

(Barbara is my mother)

West Africa Children’s Support Network
We recently adopted 4 girls, 2 age 11 - 1 age 8
and 1 age 2 from Liberia. The Children's Home they
specifically came from is run by the West Africa
Children’s Support Network. This is a Christian
Ministry who's main purpose is to support the Children
of Liberia by teaching them skills through a farm school,
offering some basic food assistance to families and
providing adoption support through a Children’s Home.
Liberia has been devastated by civil war leading to huge
economic problems. Their population of young men is
very small as they have had this civil war going on for
many years, it has just recently ended and boys were
recruited as early as age 9 to join the army factions.
This left many women without husbands and sons.
There is no running water and no electricity there. The
civil war has destroyed the infrastructure. The UN is
there now trying to restore water and while we were
there, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
was there putting a hand pump in one area. Only well-to-
do people who can afford the diesel to run a
generator have any electricity. Where we stayed, they
ran the generator at night to cool the facility down so
the Americans could sleep as it is very hot there.
With no running water, electricity, hospitals and
very limited medical help, there are many people who
cannot afford to feed their families as there is no work
available for anyone. The poverty level in Liberia has
been established at $250 per month, but most families
who have been able to find work make $100 a month.
Many children have been abandoned, or left as orphans
from disease or the civil war. There are many children
living on the streets. Children die of things easily
treated in the US. We ourselves are now going through
the first of several surgeries with our youngest daughter
to correct hip and knee deformities. She was evidently a
breech birth, and both hips and a knee became
dislocated during birth. It was not recognized and as
she grew and her legs obviously had deformities, her
tribe (she is from a rural area) found her to be a disgrace
to their family as they took her deformities to be a curse
from God and an embarrassment. That would have
been easily corrected immediately after birth here in the
US. We had people who saw us with these four girls
come up to us and tell us of other children they knew of
that were in dire need, abandoned, or just in families that
could not feed them and they asked us for help Several
of the children waiting at the children’s home came up
to us and said, "Nobody has picked me, can you come
back for me?" It was heartbreaking to see children who
wanted a family and to be loved so badly who had
nowhere to turn. I thought often of the proclamation of
the family.
The West Africa Children’s Support Network is
one of several authorized charities in Liberia that
provides assistance to families, a free farm school for
those who can come and a Children’s Home which
serves as a temporary residence for children waiting to
be adopted. They are in need of much assistance. Brian
and I, along with some assistance from the company I
work for, are arranging to send an ocean container to
Liberia in August with supplies. Some very large things
were requested and have been donated to West Africa
Children’s Support Network. We are now trying to put
together 1000 lbs of rice in 50 lb bags, and soy infants
formula (Wal-Mart brand) which is a critical need. They
have had 5 babies die in the last few months from
dehydration and lack of proper nutrition. They employ
wet nurses but there are only so many babies these
ladies can feed. They also need pampers or pull ups to
help with sanitation issues for the infants and toddlers.
The ocean container will support the families who use
the farm school, giving them rice to help them as they
learn to plant crops and sell them, and will specifically
support the children of the West Africa Children’s
Home where children wait to be adopted. There are
many children who have been abandoned or orphaned,
they have a long waiting list. Children themselves come
in off of the streets and ask for help. We recently heard
of a brother and sister in another children’s home facility
who came and explained they were orphaned and asked
if they could be accepted into the children’s home. They
were told the home was full to capacity and that they
should check back each month. The brother came back
by himself in March, his sister had died. The plight of
the children is great, and we want to do what we can to
help.
All four of our girls want to become doctors so
they can go back and help the children in Liberia, which
is what they see as the greatest need. Shorter term;
however, if any of the sisters would like to help us fill
the container by donating 50 lbs of rice (about $11 at
Sam’s Club) or a container of formula or bag of
pampers or pull ups we'd love the help. They can email
me directly if they are interested. The container needs
to be filled by end of July so it can set sail in August.
You can contact Barbara at
barbara2360@gmail.com

Sun, 14 May 2006 15:31:04 GMT

Dear cuspie

I admire your blatant honesty.

Love,

amomentfrozen

Can I have a signing monkey.....

Thu, 11 May 2006 21:56:07 GMT

David-Michael has been asking for a signing monkey... (though mandy says he cant have one before she gets one first).. I don't think she really cares if it can sign tho...

Kids ask for the strangest thing...

One of the most frightening and exciting adventures in my life is watching MiKaela begin to transform from a child to a woman (slowly I hope). I want to cry when I look at her.. Where did my baby go? Where is my slowdown button? Shes nearly as tall as I.. with Rielly right behind her.

David Michael wont let me kiss him anymore.. when he asked me what I wanted for mothers day i told him a kiss and he said somethng different? (meaning, is there something else)...

Motherhood is a gift.

With that said.. I don't know if its because I am about to turn 30 but goodlord I cry on a dime lately.... I saw a picutre of a house in a city we are considering living in.. and the porch made me cry.

The porch people. The porch.

life goes on

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 14:48:16 GMT

I stole this from Jenn

Find your own pose!

Jeff and I celebrated eight wonderful years together last week by having a rediculous dinner at the Augustine Grill. we drank a bottle of champagne and a bottle of wine.. which reminds me I need to write Brett a thank you note.

Lots going on as usual. I have been spending a lot of time in St Augustine. I wish we could afford to live down there and/or there was a job for Jeff.. because I love that freaking city!! We have done all the touristy stuff down there in the last couple weeks. It truly has been lovely. PS Potters wax museum sucks... but I HIGHLY reccomend the scenic cruise and San Sebastian Winery!

Still checking out different areas of the US for our next move.. which is part of the reason I am doing all the things we said we were going to do. because time here is short.. and I have no idea when we are going to go.. or where.. so I am stuffing the days as full as I can.

My littlest sister, Brianna (aka Minnie)is having surgery on her leg and will be in a full body cast for up to 12 weeks.. I am really worried about her.. but we are going to send up a package (thanks for the ideas kids) and we are going to head up there in early July to see her. Shelly, Christiana, and Laura are all doing well, they are in school and happy. Truly adorable girls.

MiKaela is going on a trip to Orlando for 3 days with her safety patrol.. which scares the shit out of me.. she seems so young to be doing stuff like that.. but shes worked hard on safety patrol and I know she deserves it! On the other hand, I will be kid free.. and it HAPPENS to be around Kristin's birthday.. so I guess we will HAVE to go out... =) (Jeff will have DM and Rie in Miami for Brett's Law School Grad)

same ol same ol with everyone else, Jeff and I are so wrapped up in eachother its disgusting. Thats usually what happens when he works this much, I cant get enough of him. I am back to being a stay at home mom for the most part, I only work 2 nights a week. DM and Rie are dong fabulous in school..things are great.

I am a happy (and busy) girl.. things are good!! =)

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 18:08:26 GMT

well then now you're going to do to me what i did to amber. teh amish outlaws, sex with girls, kenny chesney, changed her top 8. i learned my lesson to say the least. take away all my fun. hahahhha....did you notice we were driving by you? when? when you were sitting in the car. amber! hahaha...we drove by you twice kristin. waving at you. the second time. i don't think she's even looking..hahhahaha oh that's some shit that should have been in a movie. oh lordy. i feel like i'm gonna throw up. again. sick bitch. fat asses. did you know that i can't believe we just ate all that food? ohhhh.. amber it sucks that you have to work. shut up. you could sit around and be fat with kristi and i all day. ahhhh. mmmm...dude there was this ad on the country music station and she goes, something about winning a house without weed. why would you go there? what does that mean? are country people getting high? just tell willie nelson you couldn't buy his album be cause upi were busy getting high. he'll understand. ok bye.

Have you ever come apon an accident seconds after it happened?

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 13:59:31 GMT

We left fairly late at night, which meant a lot of night driving, and while I realize things look more surreal at night, not even the light of day would take away what I saw.

We were headed up 95, and I saw reverse lights and break lights up ahead, I began to slow down, thought of changing lanes, changed my mind and slowly approached the cars.. when I realized laying in the middle of 95 in the most unnatural positon was a male body. I can not find the words to express how horrific the sight was... the woman who had pulled over to the right of the body was standing with her hands on her face in complete disbelief. Everything went in slow motion as we passed the body and the 3 cars that had stopped. Amber put her hands to her face and said "ohmygod did that just happen?"

I can not, for the life of me, get the image of that man laying in the middle of 95 lit up only by my headlights.. distorted laying on the ground....

Because i had the kids in the car, and it was so horrific, I did not stop but I did call 911 and they hadnt been called yet and they actually asked me if I was sure.. I keep hearing him ask me that.. as if I could make up such horror...

I am curious to know what happened, but I havent found anything online about .. It happened right before mile marker 44 on 95... and I can not stop thinking about it. No matter how hard I try.

I also realize, no matter what I say or how I try to describe the image to people no one can understand ...it is one of those things that I will never forget.. the image is seared in my memory.

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 19:30:00 GMT

Where to start? I haven't had a moment to sit down and let my thoughts loose... So much has been going on.

Miami was beautiful. I spent a whole afternoon by the pool hanging out with Jenn, it was really needed. I still maintain the sun screen bottle was melting turning the lotion blue.. which is really messed up if you think about it because its SUN SCREEN its going to be in the SUN! the bottle shouldn't melt. I mean yeah its Miami but in Feb.. not THAT hot. We had friends over Sunday night and ate a massive amount of food, then did the same Monday night. All I do in Miami is eat! Sunday night Carolyn came over and we ate the best chocolate covered strawberries.. and I am still craving them. Now she knows where to go when I come into town!! yay!!!

Came home and got back to life as normal, or hoped to, until Jeff hurt his back. He has Occulta Spina Bifida and it hasn't really been causing him problems, only one incident in the 8 years we have been together, but he did something Saturday that hurt it because Sunday when we woke up he couldn't move. We ended up in the ER for a few hours and found out he has a lower Lombard strain and was on bedrest thru today. Of course his ass got up and went to work today.. because his work ethic is ridiculous.

On the moving front, we are still just waiting for the right thing, I think we will know what the right thing is when it comes, and I think it will be coming soon... I feel really good about how things are working out.

So its the normal day in day out around here again (I HOPE!) I am in love with the spring weather and I need for it to stay. I want to start working on the lawn again.

I have been using my paper journal a lot lately, I think its easier to be honest with myself there.

So many things..

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 20:42:24 GMT

I have wanted to update for so long but I never seem to have the time nor can I fit all the stuff going on in...

but I did want to post a picture of my new sisters.

Michelle, aka Shelley is 11
Christiana is 10
Laura is 9
and Brianna aka Minnie is 2.

other than becoming an older sister.. again (now there are 12 of us total) I am gettting the house ready for sale (when that needs to be done) helping Jeff search for jobs, on top of all the normal stuff that needs to be done day to day. My social life consists of work and thats about it.. sad huh? but I am happy, and I wouldnt change a thing about where I am and what is going on around me.

I am right where I need to be.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 19:52:08 GMT

If you are truly willing to love, you have got to be willing to be disapointed, and heartbroken, and still love. --Rhonda Britten